I recently read a review and some comments on Twitter
about the new film, “Django Unchained” and how the commenter felt OFFENDED that
some white people in the audience laughed a little too loudly at certain violent
and brutal scenes in the film. – (LONG PAUSE, followed by me sighing.)
I’ve come to the conclusion that just about everything in
existence has the potential to offend someone. Honestly, I shake my head daily,
often multiple times a day, at the incessant whines across television, radio,
internet, and print. This one is offended by this, that one is offended by
that, and most of the time I can’t understand what the fuss is about.
In order to wrap my little brain around some of the
hypocrisy and actual glaring double-standards of the offenses, I often try very
hard to put myself in the offended party’s shoes. Once I have done that, it
almost always points to the same conclusion- some people enjoy being outraged
and offended so they go looking for it. It’s called, “I love being a victim and
feeling oppressed.”
There is enough REAL oppression and victimization in the
world, so when it is concocted and imaginary, it can really set me off. I have
grown weary of listening to the unceasing whines and lamentations of how ___________(fill
in the blank) society is.
Below are the TOP TEN over-used and often
exaggerated “offenses” heard in the crowd:
1. Mean, as in “People are so mean! I can’t stand being
around mean people!”
2. Unfair, as in “THAT is really unfair that I didn’t get
what I deserve!”
3. Sexist, as in “I am tired of Hollywood being so
sexist!”
4. Racist, as in “Everything bad that happens to me is
because someone is racist.”
5. Stupid, as in “I can’t stand being around all these
stupid people!” (Usually referring to someone who disagrees with them.)
6. Rich, as in “I am disgusted by those rich people. They
don’t know what struggles regular people have!”
7. Poor, as in “I am offended that there are people who
aren’t able to take care of themselves and need assistance. They need to get a
job!”
8. Religion, as in “People who believe in God, or that
version of religion, ruin it for the rest of us! They should believe what I do!”
9. Appearance, as in “No one should make fun of anyone because
of how they look!”
10. Catch all, as in “I am offended and upset that people
don’t agree with me or my lifestyle, and make me feel like I am wrong about everything!”
So, let’s talk about a few of these and let me clarify
that I am NOT saying that there aren’t extremely offensive and mean, unfair,
sexist, racist, stupid, rich, poor, religious, or unattractive, or WHATEVER, in
the world. My issue is when people go
looking for slights and offenses where they don’t actually exist OR they don’t
agree with their version of it. Perhaps one should adjust their “offense meter”
before voicing their outrage at offenses which aren’t really offensive. And if you don't like it, IGNORE THEM! Get that chip off your shoulder.
When you come right down to it, just about anything can
be considered offensive to someone. That is a personal choice and prerogative.
I have friends who are very offended by eating meat or killing animals for
food. Are they are entitled to their opinion and lifestyle choice? ABSOLUTELY! Just as much as I have a right to be offended
by people who drink too much at parties and make asshats out of
themselves. But to be outraged and
offended because different people choose to eat food I don’t or drink alcohol
is ridiculous and a bit overblown. If I allow myself to be outraged by
everything I disagree with, or don’t do myself, I begin to think and act like a
victim.
Life 101: I don’t know how some people missed the epiphany
most people have around the age of 30. It’s the one that tells you very clearly
that LIFE ISN’T FAIR. It’s never going to be. Some really bad people have lives
with really good things, and some really good people get bad things. It is
called GROWING UP and GETTING REAL. If you never learn to deal with the fact
that life isn’t fair, you will likely become a perpetual whiner and complainer.
All I can say is, accept it and get over it. None of us like it, but it is just
the way it is.
Life 102: Yes, there are a lot of people in the world who
aren’t nice, and for those of us who try to be as nice as we can, we also fail.
Niceness is often lost in a sea of fatigue, confusion, self-absorption, chaos,
uncertainty, or ignorance. It isn’t personal, it just is. That isn’t an excuse, it is an explanation. Again, we don’t have to like it, but if you
plan on being successful in life, you’re going to have to toughen up.
Life 103: IT ISN’T ALWAYS PERSONAL or about you! There
are situations where people are unkind because they are wrapped up in their own
unhappy lives and they have no kindness to spare. And yes, there are people who
are cruel, brutal, unjust, nasty, rude, sexist, racist, and every other
unpleasant word you can think of. They are often offensive and downright bad.
Having to deal with them is toxic and can make a person feel like a victim. BUT
when a person chooses to feel victimized by every slight, every mundane act of
unkindness or careless comment, they are doing it to themselves and they are
not deserving of pity.
