Honor Flight: Spending a day with the Greatest Generation changed my life

2010 was not my best year.  I was going through tough times in my personal life and uncertainty in my job. When a friend called me and asked me if I wanted to be a volunteer for an Honor Flight in September, I was thrilled to have an opportunity to do something that would take my mind off my own worries and give me a chance to experience something quite special. There was no way I could begin to know how special that day would be and how it would truly touch my life.

If you don’t know what Honor Flight is all about, I strongly suggest you look into it and sign up for one. Time is running out. There aren’t many left from the Greatest Generation, and every year their numbers dwindle further. 

As I am thinking back on that day, I realize that I am not going to be able to do it justice with this one blog post. There is simply too much to capture. But there is a reason I am writing this now, almost three years later.  Recently, I found out that the man I spent that beautiful day with, recently passed away and I want to honor him once more.

My friend picked me up very early that morning and we headed out to Dulles to meet the “old guys” we would be assigned to escort that day. 

                                                        Waiting to greet the WWII veterans and be paired up. 

My friend had already volunteered at a few times and she explained the whole procedure and what to expect. Depending on the health of my designated veteran, I should expect to have to speak loudly, walk slowly, and patiently listen to war stories. No problem!  I was up for it and prepared for the worst. If my assigned veteran is in a wheel chair, I can push him all day long. I was just grateful to have the chance to interact and connect with one of these men. Little did I know that the man I would spend the day with was like no 89 year old I would have imagined. 

                                 They landed! Getting ready to greet them inside the terminal.

Robert B. Kalnitz. That’s the name I had on my piece of paper. He arrived with his group from Chicago. He was one of the last ones to disembark the plane. They allow the less mobile veterans off the plane first- those in wheel chairs and walkers. But Robert, or Bob as he asked me to call him, stood tall and capable.  

                                       Robert Kalnitz taking my photo as I took his. 

As he walked toward me, I got a deep sense of slight shyness and could see he felt a little uncomfortable with all the attention that was being given to the group. I would come to learn that he was a modest, humble, sensitive man who was deeply grateful for the opportunity to come to Washington, D.C. to see the World War II monument with his fellow Greatest Generation. Bob also was moved by the idea that all the volunteers had, in his words, “taken the day off from work and using their vacation time” to spend with strangers who had fought a war before many of them had even been born.

So we were given a chance to spend time together on the bus from Dulles to D.C. and Bob was so bright and sharp that I soon began to realize that he was unlike most of the others in the group. I asked him the usual “get to know you” questions about his life since the war, what he did in the service, and his family. He answered and engaged me about my life and experiences too. It was delightful and I wasn’t bored for a minute. We had really hit it off, and I felt so fortunate and blessed to have really hit the jackpot by being given this gentleman to spend the day with. 

                                                              Friends already! Enjoying our time at the WWII Memorial   

As I write these words, tears well up as I remember the sweetness of that day. It was perfection from start to finish. The weather in D.C. was simply amazing. Blue skies and lovely sunshine, with a light breeze. Once we got to the monument, we walked around and I took photos. Bob had a camera too and he took snaps of his state monument- Illinois. Seeing all of those old veterans, I couldn’t help but imagine them in their youth and what they had been through during the war. It was especially poignant, and a bit ironic, that Bob had been a flyer who flew missions from England to Germany. I shared with him that my mother had been there, a small child, living in Köln, Germany.

Perhaps Bob had flown over her town. You might imagine that fact may have been something that put some awkwardness between us, but it didn’t in the least. 

                                    Bob showing pride for his home state of Illinois.

There are no accidents. I could have easily been paired with a veteran of the South Pacific or France, but the universe has an interesting way of  teaching us lessons and in those difficult days of 2010, I needed to feel like life had a deeper meaning and that this experience was a gift I had been looking for. 

So we spent that beautiful day together, enjoying an outdoor lunch and talking for hours. We saw the sights and walked the steps of Mr. Lincoln’s memorial. Not all the veterans were able, but Bob was so strong and in such great shape, he was able to keep up very well. As the day wound down, we headed back to Dulles on the bus, and it started to get dark. I shared some of my personal woes with Bob, who was kind and thoughtful with his advice. 

He talked about his marriage and his daughters and grandchildren. That day we shared truly wonderful conversations and we really bonded.

Bob even mentioned me when he spoke to his wife, Shirlie, on the telephone. I felt special and appreciated. How did Bob know how much I needed that feeling? He just did; that’s the kind of man Bob Kalnitz was. 

When it was getting close to the time to say goodbye, I started to get a really big knot in my stomach. I didn’t want to cry, but I had a feeling I was going to do just that. So when they called the veterans to line up to board their plane, Bob and I exchanged contact information and we hugged goodbye. And we both had tears in our eyes. Just like I do right now remembering it. 

We are very fortunate to have things like Facebook and email to keep us connected. Imagine how thrilled I was a few weeks later to receive an email from Bob’s daughter, Leah.

Hi Diana,
I wanted to thank you for your kindness and sensitive attention to my Dad, Bob Kalnitz, during his time in Washington Tuesday. He got off the plane raving about you nonstop. His conversations with you and your interest in and sharing with him were more of an honor to him than the WWII Memorial. He was amazed that you would take a vacation day to spend with an elderly veteran. We are so touched by the generosity of spirit (not to mention time and thought) of all the Honor Flight volunteers. You made a great day even more special, and our family can't thank you enough. 
All the best,
Leah

So Leah and I would touch base from time to time.  I wrote to wish Bob a happy birthday when he turned 90. Life took off for me and I was distracted by my own issues, family, health concerns, and relationship. I changed jobs, got married, and just did all the things we do in our day to day lives. 

I thought of that day, and Bob, often. I encouraged my family and friends to sign up for Honor Flight and I told my mother about the day I spent with the lovely, kind, intelligent, Jewish man from Chicago; who just happened to be an Air Force pilot who flew a bomber over Germany during the war. She also appreciated the rich coincidence and how interesting it was for me to share a day with someone who had lived through a dangerous experience and time. She said I was fortunate to have had such a chance to hear firsthand what that must have been like. And I knew I was.

A few weeks ago, I got an email from Leah. It may seem hard to believe, but her words brought me to tears that would resurface many times since. This is what she wrote:

Dear Diana,

It has been a long time since I've written to you, but it is not because I don't think of you often. I especially have been thinking of you every day recently and every day put off writing this particular e-mail.

I am very, very sad to tell you that my dad passed away on January 15th. He got the flu towards the end of December and then developed pneumonia and was hospitalized. It was a rampant infection and the doctors couldn't get rid of it and Dad couldn't fight it off. Despite the fact that he was 91.5 years old and we knew we wouldn't have him forever, we simply were not prepared to part with him quite yet. He was engaged, vital, independent, and wonderful--not at all like a man of his years. We all thought he was going to conquer the illness--and he especially did. 

I sit at my Dad's small writing desk just about every day, going through paperwork and helping my Mom. A note in his handwriting with your name and contact information is right there on the desk, sometimes covered in piles of bills and letters. It is a testament to the special place you had in my dad's heart and the impact you had on him that your name and address remained on his desk where he would always see it. I am so grateful for the day you shared together, and I want you to know how meaningful it was to him and to us.

I hope the New Year has begun well for you and that life will be very good to you always.

Sending warm hugs,

Leah

I wrote her back and let her know that I was so deeply and sincerely sorry to hear that Bob had died and how I understood the depth of their loss. You might think it presumptuous of me to think that I knew someone I had only known for a single day, but I believe I got to know the very best of him in those hours and I fully understood what his family meant to him, and what he meant to them. I have no doubt in my mind that his spirit will always be with them, as I feel it is still with me. Certain people in this world have that gift and Bob Kalnitz had it more than most. He was the most decent and righteous kind of man, who had the perfect combination of strength and tenderness, self-dignity and respect for others, and most of all, gratitude and humility for his blessings large and small.

If you ever find yourself losing faith in life or humanity, as I had in 2010, I hope you have the opportunity to reach outside of yourself and do something for someone else. In doing so, you may find- as I did, that in the end you will receive a lesson, a gift, an opportunity that changes you and your perspective on life. 

I challenge you to go out and find that person, or thing, that restores your faith in humanity and lets you see firsthand that good people, really, really, good people, exist and are among us. We just have to open our hearts and minds and invite them in. I did such a thing in September of 2010, and now I am one of the fortunate ones who can say that their life was deeply and profoundly changed by the most unlikely of people, in a completely random encounter.

Many, loving thanks to Bob Kalnitz for the wisdom and advice, and example, he gave me that day. I feel the bond and connection to him even now. I’ll never forget him and I honored to have had the chance to meet him and share a day with him. And thanks to Leah and Bob’s family for allowing me to share this remembrance with all of you.

Robert B. Kalnitz

In his daughter Leah’s own words:

Dad was a First Lieutenant in the Air Force, 305th Bomb Group. He was a B-17 pilot, and his plane was a Triangle G. He was an instructor in Ft. Myers for a year and then was sent to England, stationed at a base about an hour outside London, in Feb. 1945. He flew missions over Germany and perhaps other countries. After the war, he was kept overseas to help photograph Europe to create a map--and also to survey damage, I believe (can check on that). His love of planes preceded his service--he was determined to be a pilot--and continued until his death. Our childhood and even adulthood included going to air shows with him. His grandchildren went, too. He wore his Air Force ring proudly every day.

He and my mom (Shirlie) were married in Columbus, Ohio on Feb. 20, 1944. Next week would have been their 69th anniversary. When they got married, he hadn't yet received his orders and didn't know if he was shipping out overseas. But they heard either that day or right after that he was being sent to Ft. Myers to be an instructor, so Mom went with him and they were there together for a year. I think he left the U.S. right around their anniversary and came home a year later, right around their anniversary.

My Funny Valentine? What's so funny about Valentine's Day?

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. I know it is a day loaded with expectations- many unmet, excitement, anticipation, and even DREAD! Valentine's Day is that one day a year when people in love are celebrated with cards, gifts, poems, decorations, candy and songs. 

But let’s start from the beginning. What is this holiday that brings such strong reactions to so many? 

To make a long story short:  

"The 14th of February became a day for all lovers and Valentine became its patron saint. It began to be annually observed by young Romans who offered handwritten greetings of affection, known as Valentines, on this day to the women they admired. With the coming of Christianity, the day came to be known as St. Valentine's Day." - The Holiday Spot

So let’s examine Valentine’s Day and see where it went wrong.

Early Childhood:

Remember when you were a kid, and your class made those red construction paper valentine hearts with the white lace doily edge? That was really FUN! And don’t forget the candy and heart-shaped confections. Valentine’s Day was a great holiday to break up the nasty weather of February. Then things started to get complicated.

The Teen Years:

Once you hit puberty, Valentine’s Day became a bit more drama-rific. There were Valentine’s Day dances, cards, heart-shaped necklaces, boxes of chocolates, secret admirers, flowers and candy grams from pimple-faced young suitors. It was exciting and a little scary. Valentine’s Day was still fun.

The Grown Up Years:

Now is where the “Funny” completely leaves Valentine’s Day and it is a serious business indeed. The song, “My FunnyValentine”, by Rodgers and Hart, is anything but funny. It is actually a melancholy tune, and I can’t detect anything humorous about it. It reminds me of the “darker” side of Valentine’s Day- the broken hearts, the lost loves, the dashed dreams, and rejection. Hardly the right anthem for a day dedicated to lovers. 

For years I dreaded Valentine’s Day. Secretly, I hated it. February 14^th taunted me and seemed to be that one day a year where I hated being single. 364 days a year, I was fine with it and actually enjoyed my independence and freedom, but on that day I felt very lonely.

There are such conflicting messages about Valentine’s Day. On the one hand, there is the group (mainly singles) who will preach about how artificial, meaningless, banal, and forced Valentine’s Day is, and will give eloquent speeches about the marvels of the empowering and independent single life. They hate on it mightily, and try to bring it down. Hey, I was one of those people once, and there is no reason to pretend that attitude doesn’t exist. 

On the other hand, there are those (mainly couples in love) who want to revel in the ooey, gooey, lovey dovey side of the day. This group unwittingly drives the stake into the hearts of the first group and may make them feel even worse about the day, because as we all know- misery loves company. If you don’t have a special someone in your life to share the day with, it is hard to be happy and excited for people who do. That’s just human nature.

Now the third group are those people who fall somewhere in between. They are either couples who just don’t “feel” the need to celebrate their love or relationship in the middle of February. Also, there are single people who have lots of fun celebrating the IDEA of LOVE without having to be in a relationship with one special person. Hey, whatever works! 

Personally, after spending many, many Valentine’s Days alone, some of them happier than others; I am ecstatic to have my husband to share it with. He’s not as enraptured with it as I am, but bears the strain as a testament to his love for me.

Valentine’s Day is like many holidays, you feel some of them more than others. Some people LOVE Halloween, others- not so much. The most important thing to remember is not to get completely wrapped up in something that only happens one day a year. 

So my advice to single people, please don’t hate on Valentine’s Day! No reason to have angst and misery on February 14^th, and begrudge those who enjoy the day feel it isn’t a nice holiday. Single people can enjoy Valentine’s Day, or they can just ignore it.

My advice for couples- once a year you have a day designated especially for people in love, so why waste a great chance to make your special someone feel loved and appreciated by making Valentine’s Day really nice. Oh, and that doesn’t mean the rest of the year you don’t have to do nice things for your sweetheart. 

So for all who love- HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY! Enjoy it with someone special, even if that person is you!

Share the gift of wisdom and life experiences with loved ones

Imagine all of the knowledge and experience a person gains throughout their life as money in a bank account. At the beginning, there is very little, but by the end, there is usually a fortune in lessons learned.

Sharing life’s lessons is one of the greatest gifts parents can bestow on their children, even when the children are adults. Teaching and giving them counsel continues throughout their lives. The learning doesn’t end once they reach eighteen or twenty-one. There is always another valuable bit of information they can benefit from and another opportunity for insights they may have missed.

No two lives within a family will be exactly the same. Siblings may have had the same parents and experiences, but their life choices and paths may be quite unique. Adult children may take different paths or lifestyles than their parents. And there can be situations and circumstances in the children’s lives which mirror the experience of their parents. Common events like marriage, raising a family, and careers- are often shared. But, even in areas of life where parents have little or no experience, guidance and counsel can be important and welcomed.

A few subjects and occurrences can be too uncomfortable for some parents and adult children to discuss. Divorce, substance abuse problems, death of a spouse, loss of a job and financial problems are a few examples of issues that can cause a breakdown in communication due to feelings of discomfort and pain. But, these are examples of important and critical situations which can benefit by sharing life lessons and discussion.

Reaching out and giving advice to adult children is a great gift, but parents must understand that often their children may seem resistant or hesitant to change their opinions. Patience, love, and understanding are important things to embrace at these times. Leaving ego-based emotions out of the picture is critical for there to be successful interaction. Taking things too personally damages the opportunity for conveying the information and the most important part- the experience.

Being open and honest are key aspects in sharing knowledge with adult children. Expecting adult children to share their intimate feelings and fears is only viable if the parent is willing to share information and lessons which are equally personal. No one likes to feel that they are sharing and the other person is not doing the same. Being vulnerable and admitting fears, mistakes and lessons learned is not an easy task. Parents may feel that they are stepping down from a pedestal if they admit to mistakes or failures. In reality, these are exactly the moments when the parent and adult child can gain the most from one another and the lessons.

Discussing feelings of disappointment and loss to an adult child can feel very disconcerting at first- for both parties; but in time and with practice, it will seem less and less uncomfortable. The foundation should already exist, but this is the time where the most beautiful aspects of the relationship can be formed. While parents and children, of any age, are never 100% equal in the relationship dynamic, the intimacy and closeness these interactions create will bring parent and child to a level of closeness that is truly wonderful. The foundation of the relationship which was built in childhood will become a beautiful structure to be enjoyed for the remaining years together.

Keep in mind; one’s children are only truly “children” for the first eighteen years. The remaining years, which can be many, are the ones where the adult child/parent relationship will have the greatest opportunity to evolve into a beautiful, loving, giving, friendship.

Sharing pains and past disappointments with adult children can help to cement the strong bonds which began when they were young and parents seemed invincible. Adult children need to see their parents for the people they are, not the image the parent had when they were young. The image must be replaced with reality. Authenticity is the basis for building and sustaining the truthful and genuine relationship.

As more and more marriages now end in divorce, the parent/child relationship is often the most long-lasting, enduring, relationships of many people’s lives. Exploring, discussing, and sharing the life experiences with adult children is the greatest inheritance they can receive. They can benefit from the hard earned wisdom and the life lessoned their parents learned along the way.


This was orignially written for  Examiner.com

Seven things that truly matter

This will be my last post of 2011 and I want to keep it short, sweet, and on point, so there will only be the top seven. They say that seven is a magical and mystical number, and I think it is a good starting point. I have settled for seven since I have so many things that matter to me, way too numerous to name.

The past year has been an action-packed collection of incredible highs and discouraging lows. I have experienced, once again, the importance of focusing on the things that truly matter. To do otherwise is an enormous waste of time, energy, and resources. 

2011 reinforced some critical values and gave me some deep clarity and insight into the things that make my life as rich and blessed as it is.

Here are the top seven things that truly matter to me:

1. My family and friends.  Without them, I would be lost. They are the people who are my greatest teachers, my solace, my strength, my inspiration and my heart. This is not to say that they can also drive me mad. The goodness and generosity of my family is worth all the struggle, aggravation and stress that come with human relationships and dynamics. I love the people in my family, and extended family, with a ferocity and strength that is able to overcome the little annoyances and fusses that may arise.

2. My career. Years ago I would never have imagined how important my career would become to me. I was a stay-at-home mom for ten years and when I went back into the workforce, I had to struggle and deal with things that prevented me from really loving what I was doing. Working was a means to an end- a way to support my children and myself. While I still have to work to pay the bills, I actually love my work now. My career brings me incredible satisfaction and makes me feel complete as a person. I actually do get paid to do what I love- writing.

3. My marriage. Yes, of course I consider my husband to be part of my family, but as those of us who are married know- marriage is a very different “animal”.  I have been with my husband for many years, but we only married in 2011. Being a wife to the man I love has taught me that marriage is something that must be worked at daily, and it is probably the most challenging and difficult relationship in life. That said, it is also one of the most glorious and sublime states a person can hope to have. I was single, after my first marriage ended, for over 20 years. I didn’t think I would ever marry again. I was afraid to fail again, so I avoided the possibility of marriage for many years. But I have come to realize that despite the difficulties, frustrations, challenges, and heartaches- marriage is truly wonderful and I am so thankful for mine.

4. My health. Such a cliché but so very relevant, especially as one ages. I am so very thankful for my health and the health of my family and friends. Good health is the foundation of so many other joys and it gives possibility to so much. I never take it for granted and it is something that makes all the difference.

5. My sanity and sobriety. While there are many days where I question the former, the latter is something that truly matters to me. Mental illness and addiction bring incredible unhappiness, chaos, strife and misery to so many people, their families, and society at large. I am grateful to have both and I pray every day that all those who struggle with either, or both, will find the strength, grace, and courage to seek the help they need. I encourage ALL people to work to help those who suffer with these conditions in any way they are able. The differences between a life of sanity and sobriety, and that of mental illness and addiction, have no compare.

6. My integrity and self esteem.  Without integrity and self esteem, or self respect, life would be an empty and hollow existence. Even if you managed to amass a financial fortune or incredible fame, what would it matter if you weren’t a person with integrity? And if you live your life without self-respect or esteem, you can’t possibly find a way to enjoy all the other wonderful parts of life that make it worth the struggle. In truth, without self-esteem, self-love or respect, you can’t truly love anyone else in a healthy or productive way.  I am happy that I have reached a point in my life where I feel content and at peace with my integrity and self-esteem. It took many years, many lessons and a great deal of pain- but I feel that I reached the point of being comfortable, happy and proud of the person I am.

7. My spiritual faith and my love of country. As they say, last but not least- my faith and my love of country are two things that keep me grounded and bring me incredible joy. If I did not have either of these blessings in my life, I would truly be lost. I don’t push either of these things on anyone. I believe they are two of the most personal and private aspects of a person. But I will give testimony to the value and the goodness of both. I love God and I love my country and I am not ashamed for anyone to know. They have both brought infinite happiness and satisfaction to my life. I am grateful to both for my life, my blessings and my many opportunities.

I wish everyone a blessed, joyous, serene, and prosperous 2012. May you find the things in your life that truly matter to you, and find a way to live life to its fullest.

Cultivating a grateful spirit and attitude is a worthy pursuit

"A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all the other virtues."  - Cicero

Thanksgiving should be much more than a day when families gather together to eat and watch football. Thanksgiving is an important opportunity and a chance for all Americans to take an inventory of the things each family should be thankful for, as individuals and as a nation.

"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has many-not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some."  - Charles Dickens

Here is a list of twenty important things families can contemplate and be thankful for on Thanksgiving:

1. Good health- Being in possession of good health should never be taken for granted. Good health is a blessing at any age.

2. Family members- Each family member should be appreciated for their own special gifts and unique place within the family.

3. A Home- Having a home is a basic need in every person’s life. Be it ever so humble, there truly is no place like home- whether it is a one room shack or an opulent mansion. Especially in this economy, where so many people have lost their homes, it is important to realize how much of a blessing a home is, and how easy it can be to lose one.

4. Freedom- Being born into a democracy where people have free speech, human rights and the right to vote is truly something to be thankful for every day. Living in a free country is a gift that people have given their lives for. Gratitude for freedom is something to teach young children, who don’t know any other kind of life than a free society.

5. Our Military and their families- It is very important to remember the men and women who defend our freedoms and our way of life. They are all over the world, often away from their loved ones. Their families sacrifice for our freedoms too.

6. A job- Considering the current state of the economy and unemployment all over the nation, a job is truly something to be thankful for. When a person loves their job, it is even more of a blessing.

7. A happy marriage/relationship- So many people take their spouse or significant other for granted. Thanksgiving is a time to think of how precious the gift of a loving partner can be.

8. Good friends- Truly good, loyal, and constant friends are one of the greatest treasures in life. Acquaintances, co-workers, or casual friendships are not the same as a true-blue friend. Their value is immense.

9. Enough food to eat- Thanksgiving is a holiday which for many, is filled with good food and bountiful meals. It is an important time of year to remember those who are less fortunate and to show thanks by sharing with those who have none.

10. Religious/Spiritual faith- For many people, faith is a gift which sustains and nurtures them in a way that nothing else can. If a person has faith, it is a blessing which should be acknowledged on Thanksgiving.

11. A Car- Having the ability to get from here to there is something many people take for granted. For those who do not have one, it can make life very complicated.

12. Clean Water- Anyone who has lived in most of the United States all of their lives probably can’t imagine not having clean, drinkable, water. Sadly, in a great number of people in the world do not have it. It is truly a blessing on many levels.

13. Free education for all citizens- An education is critical to attain many of the other blessings and opportunities available in our country. Many places in the world do not provide a solid, free, education to everyone.

14. Good roads and a well-functioning infrastructure- Most Americans would be shocked to know how terrible the roads and infrastructures are in other nations. We are truly blessed to live in a nation that has running water, reliable electricity and sewage systems which are cared for and maintained.

15. Tolerance- By and large, Americans are tolerant and accepting. It is the cornerstone of our democracy. Thanksgiving is a good time to contemplate and be thankful for the accepting and welcoming spirit of tolerance of others- regardless of: gender, race, culture, religion, sexual orientation or any other differences.

16. Honesty and integrity- Living in a country where most institutions and government are honest and fair is a true blessing. There are many places in the world where people are routinely cheated and abused. They have few protections from corruption and have no one to advocate for them.

17. Value of the individual- There are places in the world where the individual has no value, rights or standing. To live in a nation where we have rights as an individual, as well as part of the collective, is something to truly be thankful for.

18. Appreciation for literature, art and culture- Our society has a great love of all types of artistic, creative and beautiful expressions. Americans are blessed to have access to such enriching activities.

19. Peace of mind- A true blessing. If a person is able to find peace of mind in their life, they have discovered one of the greatest things life has to offer.

20. Abundance- Having an abundance of food, clothing, and other worldly goods is something to be very thankful for. There are many who want for the most basic needs and if a person is fortunate to have abundance, it is a duty to share with those who do not.

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."  -  John Fitzgerald Kennedy

"Gratitude is the most exquisite form of courtesy."  - Jacques Maritain

In addition to these twenty- each family should strive to make their own list each year for the things which they feel most grateful.

(This post was taken from an article I wrote a few years ago-  http://www.examiner.com/adult-children-in-washington-dc/twenty-things-to-be-thankful-for-at-thanksgiving )

Six months till half a century

One of the most used clichés of all time is "Life is short". And it is true. I never realized how short until fairly recently. I have been thinking about time and age and life and death a great deal of late. Probably because in exactly six months from today, I will turn 50 years old. Half a century! How does that happen?  Where does the time go?
 We don’t think about it very much, but about 100 years ago, a large portion of people never made it to 50.  
Here is a list of 59 people who didn’t make it to age 40.

By today’s standards, 50 is considered very young to die, and is still considered “middle age”.  I have an uncle who is almost 94. He  turned 50 forty- four years ago! That really puts it in perspective. But consider that there are still many people who never make it to 50 and that in certain regions of the world, 50 is considered old because the life expectancy and quality of life is radically different from what it is in this country.
Global life expectancy tables

So, here I am, looking 50 right in the face. My last 6 months of being in my 40s. The last decade has been an amazing adventure. As an example, I will share some of the highs and lows of the last decade:

I started working for the Department of Defense, which changed my professional life

I met, fell in love, and married my husband

I became a grandmother, twice

My youngest child turned 18 and my two older children got married and “grew up”

I began to fulfill my lifelong dream of becoming a professional writer

I accomplished many personal and professional goals

I experienced the death of a grandchild

I embrace a life of sobriety

I have had my spiritual and “religious” faith tested and have maintained and grown in it

I have watched both of my parents retire

I have seen friends and co-workers die, some at a very young age

I experienced 9 months of unemployment in 2009

I have seen the world change and technology grown in ways I could never have expected

As I approach my half century, I feel intense gratitude, love, joy, optimism, strength, pride in my personal and professional accomplishments; and I look forward to many more years with my loved ones and friends. I am not afraid of getting older, looking older or even feeling a little older. I am embracing and accepting that aging is inevitable and I rejoice in it.

Getting older doesn’t have to be a negative or depressing event. Quite the contrary! Consider the alternative- death. And although that too is inevitable, I am not focusing on it. I hope to have many more years to spend with my family, husband and loved ones. I have been fortunate and blessed in my life and I accept that when the time comes, I will be ready. I am thankful for the last 50 years and hope for a future that will allow me to continue growing and learning and becoming the person I was born to be.

I am so thankful for the last 50 years- the good, the bad, the ups and the downs. I have experienced incredible joy and devastating losses. I have seen the best life has to offer, and the absolute worst. But I can't complain because I have LIVED, and loved, and fallen and risen. I have made terrible, aching mistakes and I have triumphed over incredible adversity. 

I look to May 12th, 2012 with a sense of wonder and great humility, and I hope and pray that the   future will allow me to continue growing and learning and becoming the person I was born to be.