2015 Reflections: I've come a long way!

In thinking about the new year, and everything that is going on in my life right now, I honestly can't believe how far I have come in the last 5 years.

2010 was a HUGE turning point in my life, for many reasons, on many levels.I have learned some really tough, often heartbreaking lessons along the way, but I feel wiser, stronger, better, and more together than any time in my life. Things that used to really upset me, hurt me, and give me heartache no longer matter one iota. THAT is freedom and emotional liberation! 

I can honestly say I am really proud of what I have accomplished in all aspects of my life- what I have learned and the progress I have made. Often I felt discouraged, and it has been very hard work, but I am seeing so many fruits of my labors at this time. It feels REALLY good to be in this place right now. I am so indebted and thankful to all who helped me get here. (THEY know who they are!!!) I am even thankful for those "challenging" individuals who made my life difficult and who hurt me, BECAUSE I overcame and triumphed, IN SPITE OF THEM!

For those who get discouraged and feel like things will never improve/change, BELIEVE ME- they can! Persevere, stay true to yourself, work hard, and ASK FOR HELP! It may not turn out EXACTLY how you once hoped, but you may be pleasantly surprised that it turned out great in spite of what you had initially hoped for! Stay open to changes, DO YOUR HOMEWORK, take chances, and believe in yourself!

Peace in 2015! 

Happy 2nd Birthday to my blog: Thoughts on blogging

It is very hard to believe that I have been writing this blog for two years. It’s been an amazing adventure and a true labor of love.

When I started writing in June of 2011, I was unsure of where this idea, project, whatever you want to call it, would take me. Beginnings are almost always the most difficult part of projects. This blog experience has had its highs and lows and in-betweens. 

Google Analytics is a daily reminder of those highs and lows. There have been months where I hardly had time to do my “real” job and balance all the other duties and commitments I have, let alone think of something to write about. Actually, I have plenty of topics. A whole BOOK of them I have jotted down over the past two years. It is often a matter of find the time and energy to commit the thoughts, and there are MANY, to paper.

I regularly receive requests for advice about writing a blog. It can be frustrating because it isn’t a formula. What works for some people, may not work for others.  I can only give my own experiences and thoughts on the topic. There are plenty of books and articles about the practice and methodology of writing blogs, books, whatever. From my own perception and experience, I will give the following advice.

Write what you know: In the words of one of my favorite female general officers, “Don’t make shit up.”

Think before you write. Don’t write for the sake of writing.

Be true to yourself. Copying or mimicking other people’s work is never cool.

Take your time. Better to do three terrific blog posts a month than ten mediocre ones.

Blogging isn’t for everyone. Make an honest assessment of your writing abilities. If they are lacking, better to write a journal.

Write with passion, enthusiasm, and integrity. But realize that you will be judged and scrutinized on what you write. If you aren’t willing to take chances and face criticism, blogging isn’t for you.

And last but not least, remember:

Blogging is an on-going learning experience and an evolution. If you do it right, your writing SHOULD improve. Look at your work, take advice from others, and hone your craft.

So, here’s to another year! I look forward to sharing my journey with you all! 

THANK YOU for your support, encouragement, and helping to share the blog with others!!! I couldn’t do this without all of you.

Breaking up with my uterus: Hysterectomy here I come

I know that is an attention grabbing header for a blog post but really, what’s the point in being coy? I promise this won’t be overly graphic or inappropriate, though some might argue that even bringing up the topic is wholly inappropriate. Honestly, it is a major milestone in my life and important enough to be recognized.

                                                             Yes, this is a cake!

Next week I am having a hysterectomy. After years of pain and other obnoxious health issues, my doctors have advised me to consider parting ways with my uterus. It seems the benefits of “staying together” are outweighed by the ongoing health issues it is causing me. 

May years ago, women weren’t empowered enough to discuss “female problems” in mixed company. But let’s face it- it’s 2013 and commercials for drugs to treat male erectile dysfunction and prostrate problems are commonplace. So why not talk about a procedure which a huge percentage of women have each year? It’s nothing to be ashamed of or feel uncomfortable about. It is a procedure which saves women’s lives and gives many of them a new lease on life. I am fortunate not to be having a hysterectomy due to cancer. I’ve been putting it off for many years but now the time has come for a change.

I am not going to get into all the medical jargon or the particulars of the surgery. You can look it up on the internet if you really feel compelled to know. I will only speak to my feelings and thoughts on entering a new uterus-free chapter of my life and the mixed emotions that accompany it. 

First and foremost, I would like to thank my uterus for being instrumental in giving me my three wonderful children. I will be forever grateful to my uterus for accepting and nurturing my embryonic children and giving them the opportunity to grow to full term.

                                         The three fruits of my womb

Unfortunately, besides reproductive function, my uterus has been a handful. So we have to break up. It’s time. I have waited patiently, and tried everything I could think of to make it work between us, but nothing has been successful. It’s for the best. Our time has passed, and I just don’t need you anymore. No hard feelings, nothing personal. It’s just the way it has to be.

The other day I was talking to my physician about the procedure and I have to confess, I got a little choked up. That may sound a little hormonal, so I will try to explain what was going through my head at the time.  

My uterus and I began our real partnership 33 years ago, when I had my first child at the age of 17. Many people don’t know that fact about me, and I am certainly not ashamed of it. So you see, I first began my relationship with my uterus when I was pregnant with my first son. I have three children and all of them were delivered by doctors in the same practice, the one I have been going to for the past 33 years. At the time my last child was delivered, there were three male doctors and one female doctor. All three of my children were delivered by the male doctors, which was not planned but just the luck of the draw. Guess who will be performing my hysterectomy? The female doctor. She will be the one who will close out the chapter of my reproductive life. The circle will be complete. The other three doctors delivered my precious children, and the final doctor is the one who will be delivering me from my ongoing issues with my uterus.

                                                            Me, with my uterus, at 17

I hope it doesn’t seem flippant or disrespectful to break up with my uterus, and for that matter, to write about the break up. It has been a long time coming. I honor the time we’ve shared- our ups and downs, and good times and bad. Just like any other relationship that has ceased to be beneficial or productive, our time has come to part.

Farewell, dear uterus. I can’t say I will miss you, but I honor you and the fruits you have given me. I am looking forward to life without you and the start of a new and exciting chapter of my life. 

SPRING at last: The end of the winter of my discontent

“Now is the winter of our discontent,
Made glorious summer by this sun of York.”  

                                                    - William Shakespeare   Richard III

I am so over winter. I’ve had it. Done! Each year I hate it more and more. Every year in November, I start giving myself that pre-winter pep talk about improving my attitude and hoping “this year” will be different. It never is!

Top Six things I hate about winter

1. It is dark.  The lack of sunlight makes me crazy, depressed, and bitter. I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and not only does it make me sad, it makes me MAD!

2. It is cold. So shoot me, I can’t stand being cold. I prefer to be warm than cold and I am almost always cold.

3. Hibernation. Since I don’t like the dark and cold, I go into hibernation mode. This is upsetting because I love being outdoors. Sitting in the house all the time is even more depressing. You see where this is going.

4. The clothes. Too many and too bulky.

5. Snow.  I know! I am being virtually booed at this very moment. If you live in D.C. and have to commute, you will understand WHY snow has become so loathsome to so many people. Sure it is pretty to look at, but it isn’t worth the chaos, danger, and misery. 

6. There are no leaves on the trees. This is so depressing. To me, a tree without leaves looks like  dead, lifeless, and like a tree skeleton. 

I suffer from early December through mid March each year, but now I can CELEBRATE and enjoy the next nine months of gloriously warm, sunny, mild weather. I made it!!!

Happy First Day of Spring!!!!

And before you know it, SUMMER will be here!

Times long past: New Year’s Eve and the value of reflection

“Auld Lang Syne” is the song everyone recognizes, but doesn’t quite understand. The words aren’t really as important as the title, which translates from Scottish as “Old days long ago”, or “times long past”- depending on your source.  

And the words of the song we sing here in the U.S.:

Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and auld lang syne?

Chorus:
For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we’ll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.
And surely you’ll buy your pint cup
and surely I’ll buy mine!
And we’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

There is also a song by Dan Fogelberg called “Same Old Lang Syne” which is quite stirring. Dan’s song talks about lost love and reflection on things that might have been, and never will be. That is very apropos because more than any other night of the year, New Year’s Eve is a great time to reflect on the past, and then to put it aside at the stroke of midnight.

New Year’s Eve brings up powerful emotions and memories for me, some very sad and some very happy.

Consider New Year’s Eve 1979, when I was pregnant with my first son, and was about to give birth. He was born a few days later on 3 January 1980.

Or New Year’s Eve 1985, my beloved grandmother passed away from cancer.

And coming full circle, I got engaged to my husband, David, on New Year’s Eve 2010.

For the most part, my New Year’s Eves have been pretty uneventful. I am not a night owl and I can’t even remember how many times I was in bed and asleep before midnight.

As a child, my parents (two die-hard night owls) would have great festivities for my sister and me, and any other guests they might have invited. My mother always prepared a beautiful meal, usually a standing rib roast with all the trimmings, and we would stay up until midnight. At the stroke of midnight, we had some interesting rituals.

As I have mentioned before, my father is from Cuba, and it seems that in Cuba, at the stroke of midnight, one throws a bucket of water out the front door to bring in the new year. Also, we all had to eat twelve grapes, one for each month of the New Year. That sounds great except they almost always had seeds in them.

I have always loved New Year’s Eve because it signals endings, quickly followed by beginnings. It is an opportunity to reflect on things that happened and to gather the lessons learned to begin anew.

Reflection is critical to growth. The past year may have been filled with mistakes, disappointments, upsets, and hurts. There may also have been triumphs, joy, good fortune, and improvements. Probably there was a combination of both. The value of reflection is in gathering the knowledge and insights that were gained from the experiences of the past 12 months and to apply them to the next 12.

Tonight, I will be savoring the lessons, experiences, adventures, and memories of 2012. I will reflect upon what happened and extract the goodness. I will also reflect on all that I am grateful for and the many, many, blessings in my life.

 I will think of all my loved ones who are no longer here, and I will then think of and say a prayer for my beloved family and friends. But I am ever mindful of tomorrow. Tomorrow is a new day and a brand new year. Let’s hope, for all of our sakes, it is a VERY GOOD new year.

I wish each and every one of you all the best in 2013. May your year be filled with wonder, good health, joy, and wisdom.

Opening the next chapter: Becoming a freelance writer

HOT OFF THE PRESSES! I recently made a big life decision that has taken me years to have the courage to face. I am going to finally start aggressively pursuing my freelance writing career.  

I currently work in communications, doing writing and editing for a living; so the skills and the work aspect is nothing new. The new part would be taking on independent projects and work for individual clients and sources.

It is a big decision and it has taken me some time to feel ready. But I have reached a point in my life where I want to pursue more diverse and varied work and projects, and expand my writing.

 These are a few examples of professional freelance writing services:

• Press Releases
• Articles
• Blogs
• Brochures
• Web copy/web content
• Professional Biographies
• Newsletters
• E-mail copy

Check, check, check… Yes, I can do all those, and more!

 And what exactly does all of this “Freelance” stuff involve?

Freelancer

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

A freelancer, freelance worker, or freelance is somebody who is self-employed and is not committed to a particular employer long term. These workers are often represented by a company or an agency that resells their labor and that of others to its clients with or without project management and labor contributed by its regular employees. Others are completely independent. 'Independent contractor" would be the term used in a higher register of English.

Fields where freelancing is common include; music, journalism, publishing, screenwriting, filmmaking, acting, photojournalism, cosmetics, fragrances, editing, event planning, event management, copy editing, proofreading, indexing, copywriting, computer programming, web design, graphic design, website development, consulting, tour guiding, video editing, video production and translating.

Freelance practice varies greatly. Some require clients to sign written contracts, while others may perform work based on verbal agreements, perhaps enforceable through the very nature of the work. Some freelancers may provide written estimates of work and request deposits from clients.

Starting this new chapter is a bit daunting, but I am confident, ready, able and willing for it. Taking on new assignments will enable me to stretch myself as a writer and communications professional. I feel confident and believe that this is a bold step towards an enriching new chapter in my professional life.

So I am excited and happy about my decision and am hoping that I  will soon have some challenging and enriching projects to work on. If you know of anyone interested in a freelance writer, please be sure to pass my information on to them!

I am ready and prepared for a change, in my life and career; where my experience and knowledge has enabled me to be open to new challenges and areas of expression. It's taken a long time to reach this point and it feels very good to know that THIS is the right time!

WISH ME LUCK in my new endeavors!