For the love of dog: It’s the size of the heart that matters

WARNING:  This post may overwhelm you with sappy, sugary, sweetness. I unapologetically state that I will gush and brag and proclaim all kinds of sweet love for my little pooch. If you aren’t a dog lover, this post is NOT for you. Keep moving on and read some of my other posts.

I love my dog!  I mean, I really, really love him. His name is Angus, and he is my little, eight pound bundle of miniature poodle sweetness. He is the smallest dog I’ve ever had, as the other dogs in my life, two German Shepherds and a mixed breed, were giants compared to this little dynamo. 

I used to love the big breeds. They just appealed to me because of their physical presence and noble look. I had a few amazing dogs- smart, sweet, and very protective. But five years after the last one passed away, I decided I needed a change. I decided to go with a small dog, one that was easier, more portable, and required less maintenance.

I certainly wasn’t aware of how much personality, exuberance, and joie de vivre a little dog can bring to a family! Maybe it is because my children are now grown and this little guy is so affectionate and adoring!! Sometimes I feel like he will burst with love for all of us. He has such a great temperament- never fussy, grouchy, or unhappy, and has connected with us in a way I have never experienced. My previous dogs were all very obedient and sweet- but Angus is by far the sweetest little fellow, and we just adore him. Pound for pound, he really gives an incredible amount of love and positive energy!

Often people will make judgments and assumptions about you when they hear what size or breed of dog you own. People, who have small dogs, or purse dogs, must be stuck up or snobby. OR they assume people who own big dogs are trying to prove something or are seeking to intimidate.

While there may be some truth to those stereotypes, and when I was one of those “big dog” people I thought little dogs were rather pointless and prissy, I now know that I was very wrong and I am more than happy to admit it. My dog is not prissy or pointless at all. And he is, by the way, an excellent watch dog.

The fantastic thing about having the great universe of different types of dog is it gives people so many options and choices when making a selection. The decision to bring a dog into a family is a big one. It is important to know how a dog will impact your home life and how it is a commitment that will last many, many, years. Being a responsible and thoughtful owner is an enormous responsibility - emotionally and physically, and is not something to be done without careful consideration and planning.

Many people are afraid of, or intimidated by, large dogs- so small dogs are perfect for them. Others find large dogs to be a better physical and psychological fit for their lifestyle or family situation, and there are plenty of choices for them.

Regardless of their size or breed, dogs can bring indescribable happiness and love to a family. If you’ve never experienced it, you’ve truly missed out on one of the greatest relationships imaginable.

Having owned large dogs for so many years, it was a transition and adjustment to get used to living with a little guy. At first, I was terrified I would step on him! But now that I have had him for almost two years, our anniversary is 31 October; I can say that I am thrilled by the experience.  

 

Angus is energetic, but not hyper, and while his bark is rather shrill (this is the one and only thing I would have opted out of) it is a small price to pay for all the other great things about him. And remember; don’t judge a dog, or a book, by its size. Don’t assume you know the full story by how big or small it is.

In defense of the smaller breed- first of all, small dogs are so much easier in many important ways. The best part is that they take up far less real estate. I am amazed by how I once managed three kids and TWO big dogs- but in those days, the house was chaotic and rambunctious anyway, so it was “the more the merrier!”  

 Now that I am older, and far less rambunctious, I am enjoying a dog who doesn’t take up as much space in my small house. The second, and possibly greatest, thing about a miniature poodle is that he doesn’t shed. That is a huge bonus for those who find dog hair bothersome.

 

And finally, for the first time in my life, I now sleep with a dog on the bed. I would not have considered this if he was a breed that shed, and I never had my German Shepherds sleep with me because there would have been no room at all. Luckily, in this case, it is a perfect fit- small dog, no hair! A win- win situation.

At night, Angus is very well-behaved and doesn’t ever disrupt my sleep. If anything, he is cuddly and considerate, and it is actually very enjoyable having him next to me.

Cafe Press website

The other day, my four year old granddaughter- who lives with us with my daughter- was holding Angus on her lap. She clutched him tightly and proclaimed, “Angus, I love you. You’re my best friend.”  I dare you not to have a lump in your throat imagining that tender scene.  And Angus just looked back at her adoringly, even though she was holding him very tightly, and licked her little face. I think about the two of them, growing up together, and how in the past two years they have truly become the best of friends.

While he may not have the same presence as my German Shepherds as a watch dog or the ability to command the same kind of respect from people on the street- he is as loyal and loving and sweet as any beloved dog I’ve ever owned.

Angus brings something to our family that is simple and universal. It is pure LOVE, without motives or agendas. He loves us unconditionally and completely and is never ashamed to show it or too tired or grumpy or distracted to make us feel it. He trusts us and looks to us for approval, affection, companionship, and guidance. WE know we are the most important thing in his little world, and that is a truly amazing feeling, and what having a dog is all about.

Did I mention how much I LOVE MY DOG?

Report Recommends Changes to Federal Pay System

In September, a panel of experts released a report which questioned current methods for federal government employee pay increases; and made recommendations for improvements which would make the system for flexible and viable.

A recent article in Federal Times detailed specifics from the report and quoted, Rex Facer, a Brigham Young University professor who was one of the report’s three authors who stated, “The base salary of a GS-11 ranges from $50,287 to $65,371, not counting locality pay. Pushing the maximum up to $75,400 would provide more latitude to reward people without ‘necessarily having to have a promotion’ that otherwise isn’t warranted.”

See more here:
Report Recommends Changes to Federal Pay System

October is SIDS, Pregnancy and Infancy Loss Month

 

                                                                            - Original graphic by Anna Sargent

October is Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) Awareness Month, a time to educate parents, grandparents, caregivers, and family members about the risk factors associated with SIDS.

On November 23, 2001, my family suffered the devastating loss of my grandson, Brian K. Sargent, to SIDS. He was six weeks old. SIDS Awareness is a personal cause to our family and we hope to be able to comfort other families and to make parents and caregivers aware in hopes of prevention.

Facts about SIDS in the Washington, DC Area:

• Infant mortality rate is 15 deaths per 1,000 live births (twice the national rate of 7.1)
• SIDS rate is also double the national rate (approximately 120 per 100,000 live births each year)

In 2006:• 9 babies died from SIDS in DC
• 90 babies died in Virginia
• 64 babies died in Maryland

Terry Rainey, a resident of the DC Metropolitan area, said this about his experience of losing an infant son to SIDS:

“I lost my son Joe in November of 1996, and every day I feel the pain of that loss. There are no easy answers, just some very tough questions, when one faces such a tragedy. Through the help of family and friends, I have come to appreciate Joe's eight months of life as a gift. Also I greatly value the efforts of the SIDS Alliance in helping thousands of other parents who have lost loved ones. With the strides that have been made in SIDS awareness and research, I am hopeful that we will see the day that no parent will lose a child to SIDS.”

 

What groups are most at risk for SIDS?

Babies who are placed to sleep on their stomachs or sides are at higher risk for SIDS than babies who are placed on their backs to sleep. African-American babies are more than two times as likely to die of SIDS as Caucasian babies. American-Indian/Alaska Native babies are nearly three times as likely to die of SIDS as Caucasian babies.

The preliminary infant mortality rate for 2007 was 6.77 infant deaths per 1,000 live births, a 1.2 percent increase from the 2006 rate of 6.69, though not considered statistically significant. Birth defects were the leading cause of infant death in 2007, followed by disorders related to preterm birth and low birth weight. Sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) was the third leading cause of infant death in the United States. -Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) and Sudden Unexpected Infant Death (SUID): Reducing the Risk
Follow these tips to reduce the risk of SIDS for infants:
Positioning

• Babies should always sleep on their back.
• Place baby on his/her back to sleep at night time and naptime.
• Babies shouldn’t sleep on their side. They may roll to face down position.

Cribs

• Every baby should sleep in his/her own crib.
• Place baby on a firm mattress in a safety approved crib.
• Remove all fluffy and loose bedding from the sleep area. The only thing in the crib should be the baby.
• Make sure baby’s head and face stay uncovered during sleep.
• Use blanket sleepers instead of blankets during colder months.

Room sharing

• Babies from birth to age 6 months should sleep in the same room with their parents.
• Babies should not sleep on the same sleep surface with their parents.
• Bring the baby into your bed for cuddling and feeding, but return the baby to his/her crib when you are ready to go back to sleep.

Other tips

• Temperature in home should be 68-72 degrees Fahrenheit in the winter and 70-85 degrees Fahrenheit in the summer.
• Don’t let baby get too warm during sleep.
• Use pacifiers at naptime and bedtime during the first year, but not during the first month for breast-fed babies. -Children's National Medical Center Washington, DC © 2009

First Candle/SIDS Alliance is a national nonprofit health organization uniting parents, caregivers and researchers nationwide with government, business and community service groups to advance infant health and survival. With help from a national network of member and partner organizations, First Candle is working to increase public participation and support in the fight against infant mortality.

Important Resources for parents and caregivers:

The Sudden Infant Death Syndrome Foundation of Washington

Follow SIDS Resource Center on Twitter

National Healthy Start Association Toolkit Resource Center Web site at the National Center for Education in Maternal and Child Health, Georgetown University © Georgetown University

U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission

Rise in Infant Suffocations Renews Debate On Bed-Sharing By Rob Stein ©2009 The Washington Post Company

Why is SIDS More Common in African American Populations?

Halo Sleep Sack -The Safer Way to Sleep®

Air Force Veteran Invents SIDS Prevention Device © Copyright 2003-2009 I-Newswire

Hospital will promote SIDS awareness in October © 2009 The-Dispatch.com

Back to Sleep Campaign and the Healthy Child Care America Campaign. © AMERICAN ACADEMY OF PEDIATRICS

*************************************************************

                                                                  Brian K. Sargent

 

Of things unseene how canst thou deeme aright,
Then answered the righteous Artegall ,
Sith thou misdeem'st so much of things in sight?
What though the sea with waves continuall
Doe eate the earth, it is no more at all:
Ne is the earth the lesse, or loseth ought,
For whatsoeuer from one place doth fall,
Is with the tide unto an other brought:
For there is nothing lost, that may be found, if sought.

-The Faerie Queene by Edmund Spenser
Book V Canto II stanza 39

Orignially written and published in 2009 for the Examiner.com site

The night Che Guevara kept me from sleeping: Sometimes a T-shirt is more than just a T-shirt

I am tired. I worked hard today and I wanted to go to bed early and get a good night's sleep, but now Che Guevara won’t let me. The last thing I want to do right now is write a blog post, but sometimes  “the muse” isn’t a beautiful young woman or man who inspires your creativity, it is a damned T-shirt sold at an overpriced and over-rated clothing chain, which targets empty-headed 20 somethings.

 

Here’s what the “all-knowing one”, Wikipedia has to say about it-

‘Urban Outfitters has been described as selling hip, kitschy, and ironic merchandise, for example, T-shirts emblazoned with the words "Jive Turkey" or "Atari". They are known for catering to "hipster" culture and fashion, which incorporates an influence from past decades.

According to their website, Urban Outfitters' "established ability to understand our customers and connect with them on an emotional level is the reason for our success."

 The site says that "the reason for this success is that our brands... are both compelling and distinct. Each brand chooses a particular customer segment, and once chosen, sets out to create sustainable points of distinction with that segment" and that "the emphasis is on creativity. Our goal is to offer a product assortment and an environment so compelling and distinctive that the customer feels an empathetic connection to the brand and is persuaded to buy." ‘

And it goes on to have an entire section titled: “Urban Outfitters' products have been the subject of multiple controversies, particularly concerning religious and ethnic issues.” – See the page for more examples of their “clever and hip” clothing items. Excuse me if I don’t find the humor or creativity in hate.

Well, “kitschy and ironic” is no excuse for outright offensive and obnoxious. And if their goal is to offer something “compelling and distinctive”, they have failed epically this time with their new Che Guevara T-shirt.

This isn’t their first controversy, and I loathe giving them attention, as it seems that is part of their marketing “edgy-ness” and makes them feel like they are making some profound political statements or SHOVING free speech down people’s throats. Whatever. It is manipulative and ugly. It isn’t cute and the REAL irony is that people with too much expendable income are spending WAAAAAAAAY too much money on an icon of the Communist “revolution”.

 

 

 

I am not going to go on a political rant about Communism or how it has destroyed the lives of millions and millions of people. I think that has borne out and most of us who live in a free society understand that it is a system which denies people rights and destroys every conceivable remnant of freedom. I have very personal insights into Che Guevara, as my father is a Cuban émigré and that chapter of Cuba’s sad history is part and parcel of my life history. (For another time, when I am not about to drop from exhaustion).

Needless to say, I was heartened to see that a piece was run in the Huffington Post (so much for the liberal media) which was an actual letter, which was written by Thor Halvorssen-  Founder, Human Rights Foundation. In his letter, Mr. Halvorssen states:

“We urge you to consider that the image of Guevara represents tyranny and repression for the millions of people who have suffered under communism. Fifty-three years after Guevara's rise to power, Cuba is still ruled by the Communist party, while all alternative political parties and dissenting civil society groups are outlawed. Any expression of dissent is considered a subversive act, a free press does not exist, and the government regularly imprisons those who speak out. Mr. Marlow, the Cuban government of today, a legacy of Guevara, is the most repressive regime in the Western hemisphere.” 

He goes on to say- “For the sake of the 1.47 billion people still living under the yoke of communist rule, for the sake of the thousands who perished in the Cuban revolution, and for the sake of the 11 million Cubans who still endure a totalitarian system, we hope Urban Outfitters will reconsider its marketing strategy and set a moral example for the apparel industry.”

BOOYAH! 

Bravo, and THANK YOU, for saying it so eloquently and well. NOW I can go to sleep!

 

Even though they butchered his name, how appropriate, this is damned funny!

I have some good news and I have some bad news: Isn’t that always the case?

Today as I was making my way to the open maw known as metro, I overheard someone utter a sentence that rose above all the other background noise. He spoke into his cell phone and proclaimed, “I have some good news, and I have some bad news.”  At that point I was passing by and I would have had to very obviously stop dead in my tracks to have heard what the good and bad news was.

I tried to read my book for the three stops I have to get to Gallery Place-Chinatown stop, but my mind kept wandering back to my earlier encounter, and it made me think. Now for those who are unaware of my ongoing saga and trials and tribulations with the D.C. public transportation system- metro is a great challenge in my life.

This morning, right after I heard the immortal phrase in question, I was walking down to get to the train platform and I saw people actually jarring the doors to the train open, super hero-style, attempting to SQUEEEZE in.  Not only is this incredibly stupid and ill advised, it is infuriating because IF some imbecile breaks the doors and they can’t close, EVERYONE has to off board the train and wait for the next one. So, if a person is stupid enough to risk life and limb- literally, in order to get on a train, which is probably taking them to their crappy job downtown anyway, by all means- be my guest. Except for the fact that it is going to screw up the commute of about a thousand other people, including me.

But I digress.

Back to the original point of this post, the question of good and bad news. Mind you, I arrive at the Pentagon Metro station via the Bus of the Damned, around 7:15 a.m., and that is not my best hour of the day to be fully awake and aware, but that sentence struck me like an electrical charge and woke me from my sleepy apathy.

Isn’t it funny (not “ha ha” funny) how good and bad things are usually intermingled? If you really open your mind and think about it, almost everything or event has a good and bad component.

For example:

Getting married:  The good news- Yay for the happy couple! Marriages are a joyous event and it makes everyone feel warm and fuzzy about love and commitment and happy moments.

The bad news- The expense, the family and friend drama, the stress and pressure on everyone involved can be a serious drain and emotional thermo nuclear catastrophe.

A great new job:  The good news- CONGRATULATIONS! Thrilled you are out of that old and unsatisfying job where you weren’t appreciated, the pay was lousy, and your co-workers made you want to run screaming from the building.  That’s all behind you now!

The bad news- Wait six months.

A brand new home: The good news- You’ve finally gotten your brand new dream home! You’ve been waiting for this your whole life. It has everything you’ve always wanted and now you can enjoy the beautiful surroundings and reeeee-lax!

The bad news- Now you have to really worry about what will happen if you lose that fabulous new job and pay for it all.

And you see where I am going with this. The secret of happiness, serenity, peace of mind, whatever is balancing out the good and bad news. The sad fact is that too many people only see the good, or the bad, to their own detriment.

Balance is one of those maligned and distained concepts. My husband gives me endless grief about my endless preaching the Gospel of Balance, but in reality it is the best one can hope for in a world full of extremes. (More of the Gospel of Balance later.)

The ridiculous and maddening world of the arrogant asshat: Learning to deal with difficult people

                                                                   " It's all about me!"

Lately I have the distinct feeling that there has been an arrogant asshat population explosion! They are all around us- in real life, on television, in cyberspace, and our own families. One thing is sure, if you have to deal with an arrogant asshat, your quality of life can be greatly altered. BUT the good news is, it doesn’t have to be.

“The need to be right is the sign of a vulgar mind.” -  Albert Camus

 

 

Arrogance goes beyond being assertive, pushy, or even cocky. Arrogance is that over the top expectation a person has which causes them to act as if the world must bend to their opinion, will, and belief about everything, without question or hesitation. Whether the arrogant asshat in your life is male or female, young or old makes no difference. Dealing with that type of individual is truly one of the most unpleasant and frustrating situations in life.

Definition of ARROGANCE

: an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions

The older I get, the less patience I have for arrogant asshats. Where do they get off thinking the world is going to bow to them? What causes a person to become so self-absorbed and full of themselves? Is it nature, nurture, or a combination of both? Is there an “asshat gene”?  Science was never my forte, but I suppose there could be arguments for both theories. All I know is that I have the ANTI-asshat gene.

 

“Arrogance on the part of the meritorious is even more offensive to us than the arrogance of those without merit: for merit itself is offensive.” - Friedrich Nietzsche

 

 

I am currently struggling with some WORLD CLASS ARROGANT ASSHATS in my life. I am not about to allow my precious peace of mind and happiness be polluted by the toxic miasma they give off.

Life is too short to waste a minute of it fretting and obsessing over the attitudes and actions of others. Heaven knows I, and most everyone, have far better uses for my time and energy. My suggestion, and advice, for dealing with arrogant asshats is as follows:

1. IGNORE as best you can.

2. If ignoring fails, minimize contact, reactions, attention- because they do LOVE the attention.

3. Realize that most arrogant asshats are truly bitter, sad, miserable, lost souls. I am not saying you have to feel sorry for them, just know that is what usually fuels their arrogance.

4. NEVER let them see you sweat.

5. Living well is always the best revenge. Your happiness is the antidote to their power. If you let their arrogance and superior attitude beat you down- THEY WIN.

6. NEVER let an arrogant asshat win. EVER!

7. Pick your battles with arrogant asshats. They love to fight, don’t engage.

8. If you have to “fight”, don’t give up the moral high ground. Arrogant asshats love to drag others into their cesspool. It makes them feel righteous.

9. If you happen to be related to an arrogant asshat, do the best you can. We can’t pick our families, so it is important to develop great powers of detachment and a sense of humor.

10. LAUGH at them. Laughter can really help deflect their ridiculous pomposity and sense of entitlement. After all, it is truly absurd to be a spoiled three year old in the body of an adult.

 

 

A very good article on the topic was featured in the Washington Post in 2011, called “The fine line between confidence and arrogance”.  Written by someone far smarter and more eloquent that I, I have highlighted the best advice from the piece:

If you find that you are guilty of some the behaviors above, rethink your approach and keep your ego in check:

• Instead of bragging about your personal achievements, find a way to spotlight someone else’s work. Consider talking up team triumphs.

• During interviews or when interacting with a recruiter, be careful not to interrupt and listen carefully to the questions asked before responding.

• Transform your arrogance into self-confidence by showing vulnerability — be willing to share past mistakes, limitations and fears.

• Be humble.

• Have the courage to discuss opposing ideas without being judgmental.

• Seek out learning partners and trusted colleagues and ask them for honest feedback. Where do they perceive you along the confidence-arrogance continuum? If they say that you come across as haughty at times, learn which behaviors give this impression.

• Finally, understand how confidence is expressed in the culture in which you’re working (modesty is valued in many Asian cultures, so you’ll want to tone it down a bit when interacting with Japanese employers and colleagues).

When life is unfair, unbalanced, unfazed, unfriended, and unappreciated: Trying to manage the “UNs”

 

“I think its liquid aggravation that circulates through his veins, not regular blood. “ – Charles Dickens

The past few months flew by and I was inundated with the “UNs”.  I have been acutely aware of how life can be especially UN-fair, and I’ve been dealing with some issues which have left me UN-balanced, and yet I have remained UN-fazed.

I have recently been UN-friended, both in “real life” and in the social media universe, due to a petty and immature situations and suspect agendas. But I have also been UN-derstood and experienced UN-wavering support by more than my share of wonderful, loving, kind, and generous people. As always, my life is filled with more good than bad, but the bad has taken a toll on my writing, or lack thereof, and my ability to focus.

One thing I noticed were some particularly telling facebook statuses, which I will share, as they truly capture what has been happening recently:

 §  There just aren't enough hours in a day, and I don't possess the energy, to write everything I would love to be writing right now. Trying to find balance, and manage my time and energy level, is my greatest challenge at the moment.

 §  I am going to jump on the bandwagon and just say that if you don't understand anything else about the horrific events that happened in that Colorado movie theater, understand this- Don't take a minute of life for granted. Love your loved ones as if each day was your last. No matter where you are, or who you are, there is no certainty in the future. I know the first thought that came into my head was my loved ones and how precious they are to me. HUG your loved ones a little harder today and be mindful of how blessed you are to still have them with you.

§  An emotional day. Thinking about Lance and then about the passing of Neil, and having a very great lunch with some awesome ladies, and missing my girls who are in Maine, and spending some great quality time with my mister. Life is really a series of emotions and events that can truly move you. I am grateful for all the blessings in my life, and for all the amazing people who touch us, near and far. ((tears)) Hug your loved ones. I am hugging you all.

 §  I have come to realize that most people create their own personal Hell. Unless you, or someone you love, have an illness or similar uncontrollable condition/accident/injury, YOU HAVE choices, options, and opportunities to have a better life. There are reasons many people are unhappy, and most of the time it has to do with their own actions and choices. Most people hold themselves back because they are too stubborn, foolish, fearful, or lazy to make things better for themselves. It may take HARD WORK, effort, and a little pain- but the most of the time, the ONLY person holding anyone back from a better life is THAT PERSON! STOP the blame game and get over it. That is all.

§  PEOPLE of the world, please keep in mind that if you can't walk the walk, and can't talk the talk, DON'T call yourself something you aren't. Earn your f*cking stripes like the rest of us normal people had to do. If you do otherwise, you are a fraud and an imposter. I am red-hot right now. My fury may cause another earthquake.

“Learning and innovation go hand in hand. The arrogance of success is to think that what you did yesterday will be sufficient for tomorrow. “- William Pollard

So as you can see, I have been having some challenging and frustrating feelings whirling around and I am trying to manage the “UNs” in my life and keep a positive perspective. Some days I succeed, others- not so much.

 

  I am trying to keep up with my writing, but there are some impediments and blocks to my creativity right now. I am working through these issues and attempting to channel the angst and anger, but UN-fortunately, I am not winning that battle at this moment. The war is not over and I am not defeated, just a bit UN-dermined. I am determined to conquer this UN-pleasantness and rise above the fray.

“When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear.” – Mark Twain

 

As I work through the issues, situations, and UN-pleasant things I am dealing with, I am learning more lessons, gaining more insights, and realizing more and more how fortunate I am to have a strong spirit, a supportive and loving family, a treasure trove of loyal and constant friends, and that life is not always sparkling and joyful in every aspect. I am seeking to find solutions and balance to deal with the areas which, in this moment, are UN-settling, UN-fulfilling, UN-inspiring, and UN-nerving.

I remain UN-fazed, UN-deterred, UN-broken, and UN-relenting. Hopefully the cloud will lift soon and fall will bring some new adventures and challenges. Wish me luck, say some prayers, and let’s hope this difficult time will soon be a distant UN-pleasant memory.

“Experience is the best teacher, but a fool will learn from no other.”

– Benjamin Franklin